How to Introduce Toys to Your Relationship

There’s a quiet truth that lives in most long-term relationships: no matter how deep the love or how strong the bond, routine can slowly settle in. That spark? Sometimes it dims—not because it’s gone, but because life gets in the way. Work schedules, grocery lists, errands, laundry. Somewhere between “Did you take out the trash?” and “What do you want for dinner?” we forget the playfulness that once defined our intimacy.

But here’s the good news—reviving that spark doesn’t require a grand gesture. Sometimes, it just takes a little curiosity, a dash of courage, and yes, the right toy.

I’ll never forget a message I once got from a reader named Janelle. She and her partner had been together for ten years. One night, over pizza and wine, she nervously asked, “What would you think if we tried using… a toy?” Her partner blinked, then grinned, and said, “I was hoping you’d bring it up first.” They laughed, browsed some products online, and later told me it was one of the most intimate conversations they’d ever had.

That’s the kind of connection we’re talking about.

So how do you bring it up? Whether you’re newly dating or celebrating your 20th anniversary, here’s how to introduce toys to your relationship in a way that builds trust, laughter, and closeness.

It Starts With a Conversation (Not a Surprise)

A lot of people wonder if they should just order a toy and surprise their partner with it. Unless you know they’re into surprises, this can backfire. It’s kind of like showing up to date night with matching neon jumpsuits—you might be met with delight, or complete confusion.

Instead, start casually. Maybe you’ve read an article (hello!) or seen a mention on social media. You can say something like:

“I came across this guide about couples who try new things together—it made me curious.”

Or even:

“I saw this thing online… and thought it might be kind of fun to explore together.”

The keyword here is together. You’re not suggesting something for them—you’re suggesting something with them.

If your partner seems surprised, don’t panic. People process new ideas differently. They might need time to think or ask questions.

And if they’re intrigued? Well, now the fun begins.

Reassure, Don’t Convince

Let’s talk about a common concern—especially from men: “Am I not enough for you?”

This is where your words matter. Reinforce that toys aren’t a replacement. They’re a tool for connection. Like music sets the mood for a romantic night, toys are just another instrument in your intimacy playlist.

Try saying:

“This isn’t about fixing anything. I love what we already have—I just want to keep exploring and having fun. With you.”

Toys aren’t about inadequacy. They’re about enhancement. About curiosity. About new adventures you take as a team.

Have Fun Shopping Together

Now comes the best part: the virtual window shopping date.

Make a night of it. Pour a glass of wine (or tea!), open up LuvPleasure’s Couples section, and browse like you’re planning a vacation. You don’t have to buy anything right away. You’re just exploring.

You’ll laugh at some items (seriously, what is that thing with the 18 settings?). You’ll get curious. You’ll probably learn something about each other along the way.

Start with beginner-friendly options:

• A wearable vibrating ring
• A compact remote-controlled bullet
• A dual-use massage wand

These aren’t just “sex toys.” They’re intimacy enhancers.

One couple told me they started with a silky feather tickler because they were too shy to dive into vibrators at first. It ended up sparking more conversation than anything else—and eventually, they got bolder. The key is finding your shared comfort zone.

Keep Expectations Low and Laughter High

The first time you use a toy together might be… awkward. And that’s perfectly okay.

It might buzz too loud. Or you might fumble with buttons like you’re defusing a bomb. You might giggle. Or freeze. Or feel unsure.

Let that be part of the experience.

Think of it like learning to dance. Nobody waltzes perfectly on the first try. But with every step, you get more comfortable—and eventually, you find your rhythm.

Create a relaxed mood:

• Dim the lights
• Play some soft music
• Agree in advance that it’s okay to stop, laugh, or change plans

And remember: pleasure isn’t just the destination. It’s also in the trying, the talking, the laughter, and the learning.

What If They’re Not Into It?

Not every conversation goes smoothly. Your partner might say no. Or not now.

Respect that. Don’t push. Instead, stay open.

Ask:

“Would you be open to talking about it again later? I’m just glad we can share things.”

Sometimes it’s a timing thing. Sometimes people just need to feel safe first. And sometimes, the conversation itself is the real win—it deepens intimacy whether or not a toy is ever unboxed.

A Love That’s Curious Grows Stronger

Introducing toys isn’t about being daring or edgy. It’s about being curious together. It’s about letting your relationship evolve with honesty and joy.

Like Janelle and her partner, it could start with a simple question over pizza. And lead to a spark you didn’t know you were missing.

So if you’ve been wondering How Sex Toys Impact Relationships—this is your sign. Take a breath. Start the conversation. Your relationship deserves the adventure.

💕 Ready to Start Exploring?

Check out our Beginner Toys for Couples to find something playful, gentle, and just right for two.

Explore now—your next favorite moment might be one toy away.